


the time has come again

by frankincense



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Harry is kind of dead, I'm Sorry, M/M, i'm in an angsty mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 03:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4464539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankincense/pseuds/frankincense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a curious daughter and a scrapbook of photos</p>
            </blockquote>





	the time has come again

"Ly? You alright? A bit quiet in there..."

When no response comes from his daughter's bedroom Louis's curiosity - along with paternal panic - carries him through to find out the reason he hasn't heard a peep from his usually very noisy kid in nearly an hour. He finds her surrounded by photos and albums and scrapbooks which had been hidden away under the stairs and his heart swells a little with both pride and pain. He knows the conversation that's about to occur, has avoided it until this point, but he knows that tonight he will have to address this part of their lives. At seven years old, Lyla is old enough to know, old enough to want to, and beyond old enough to deserve the truth.

Sure enough, his daughter looks up at him with questions in her ivy green eyes, and Louis braces himself.

"Dad?"

"Yes, love?"

"Who is this man with you in all of the photos?"

There it is. Louis knew it would hurt but he hadn't realised how much those words would slice through every part of him. He sits down next to the girl he adores with everything, and picks up the nearest photo. Harry's face grins up at him, with brilliant eyes that match Lyla's perfectly, and Louis is hit with a wave of hurt again. In the photo, Louis' arm is slung casually round Harry. It's one of the earlier photos, because they're the same height and Louis was still going through his stripe phase. He'd almost forgotten how deep the dimples in Harry's cheeks were, how curly his mop of hair was. How he used to go red when he giggled, and how he giggled at everything. God, they were so young.

"Dad? What's wrong?"

A young voice snaps him back to the present and he is reminded suddenly that the question is still hanging over them both. Who is this man?

"Ly...this man was...well he was your dad."

The look of pure confusion on the girls face is so utterly adorable that Louis nearly forgets how pivotal this moment is for them. The only thing that keeps him from grinning is the constant reminder of Harry reflected in his daughter's eyes. She looks just like him and it kills Louis.

"But you're my dad?"

"Yes love, I am your dad. You were super lucky, and you got two dads! In fact, he was the one who made you..well that's a chat for another day really...but he's your dad too. See, he's got your eyes! Look!"

Tiny hands pick up another photograph and green...green eyes study them closer.

"Woah he does! Cool"

"And your little chin." Louis adds as an attempt to distract himself, tapping Lyla's chin with his finger, prising a giggle out of her. The dimple in her cheek and her little teeth are achingly familiar and it sends another shock through him. Her giggling calms and her brow furrows as another thought occurs to her.

"But...wait...why don't we ever see him?"

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck Louis had no idea what those words would do to him, even after six years they slice him open and rip his stomach out. He presses his eyes shut as an attempt to be anywhere but in that room looking at those photos, but he opens them after a second because he cannot show his daughter how much pain he is in right now.

"He went away. He didn't want to, he really didn't. But he had to."

What he doesn't say is that it was so quick and so sudden and so not part of the plan that they'd had since Harry was sixteen and ridiculously eager about everything. Marriage and kids had been what'd they'd wanted. Always. But not this.

"Can we go visit him??"

She sounds excited and Louis feels sick.

"He...he went away a long time ago. Too far away. I'm sure he would have loved to see you, kiddo. See how big you've grown. But I'm sorry."

She seems to ponder this information, excitement faded slightly and mouth turning down a little at the edges. Louis pulls her onto his lap, because no matter how big she gets she will always be Louis' baby, even if they don't share DNA.

"Can I write him a letter? Like Santa?"

Tears prick in his eyes at the innocence, the pure naivety of this child and he nods, unable to speak for fear of his voice breaking.

"Cool! Can I write it now?"

Louis nods again, and Lyla dashes through to the other room to start on her new project.

"I'm going to tell him about the hamster at school!"

As soon as he's alone, the tears that had been threatening to spill finally fall into Louis' lap, and for the first time in a very long time he simply lets himself feel the pain as he relives the night he got that call. After a few moments, he lifts his eyes and stares at the blank ceiling, and sends a few words out in the hopes that they'll find Harry somehow.

"You better read her letter."

With a small, sad smile, Louis scrubs his face and follows the sounds of his daughter humming to herself in the next room.


End file.
